Updated: May 25
Something fantastic happens when you get to spend your life with your person. We've found this genuinely unique synergy, this unspoken ability to be connected. I love the way we're able to bring balance to each other.
All that being said, sometimes our differences show up and present themselves in amusing ways. Sometimes those differences are just silly revelations. Sometimes they challenge us to become better versions of ourselves. Here are some things I've learned being married to my husband:
1. There is a Right way to open an English muffin, and it is NOT with a knife. The baker in Christopher almost lost it the first time I brought a knife toward their homemade muffins. Apparently, you are supposed to perforate it with a fork and then pull it apart to preserve the internal nooks and crannies. Who knew?
2. Some people don't fold a fitted sheet by frantically rolling it into a ball, angrily tossing it into a closet, and considering what is happening in your life that linens have defeated you.
3. Communication is much more than talking. Yes, effective communication involves freely expressing yourself, but communication also involves trust, self-reflection, and honesty. It also involves active and participatory listening, which can be difficult if you're not in practice, but being able to listen, not for what you want to hear or how you can fix it, but simply listening is an invaluable skill.
4. Apparently, I like pickles now. I could not stand them before them. Honestly, I was that guy that could not even pick them off of a hamburger and eat it, and the presence of a pickle ruined my food. But, he challenged me and taunted me with my distaste for them, and now I can go to town on a pickle. Growth!
5. Partnership is understanding your strengths and giving them to another while simultaneously accessing your weaknesses and allowing another to support you in those areas. That one was tough!
6. Did you know there is a proper way to fold a towel? And I definitely was not doing it right! LOL
7. Love has a truly transcendent quality. When I am at the depths of my worst, I can lean on the fact that this person loves me and be lifted. When I am stressed and overwhelmed, I can lean on the fact that this person loves me and be calmed. When I am stumbling out of an Uber because I overindulged at the bar and bruise myself by falling into a dresser, I can rest comfortably knowing that this person loves me. (Maybe that last one should have stayed in the inner monologue...)